Lanna allowed various events of the funeral to pass by in a mundane blur. General Kane, her master, went out like a small flame. As did many members of the Jedi Knights. The girl grew up with a military for family, and the nature of such a dynamic led to perpetual loss. As a child, she would become grieve in confusion because death was still a foreign concept. But eventually it became something the Jedi grew complacent with in the force. Lanna would turn to meditation regularly, and when the relaxed variety of emotional expulsion failed, she would drink. The escapism of night life attracted her mind from a young age.
Various diverse members of the order expressed their grievances while she received them politely. Kane was a General of a high rank, so it was only understandable that many would be effected by his death. However, It was always hardest on the padawan. Except Master Kane had two other students who were significantly more outwardly distraught than Lanna, and it seemed to create a barrier between what emotions she could appropriately express. At this point in time, she wanted to release her inhibitions and be free from the place of extreme restraint.
Every so often, the girl would have to shut her eyes and take a breath so she could hold back the desire to slouch into a chair and cover her face from all the commotion. Upon the ceremony's end, she was one of the first to leave with those who found the formalities of funerals to be stifling. It was a rare occasion for an actual event to be held for a member of the knights. War was becoming so bloody that it was increasingly more common to burn an individual's physical body, then return to the battlefield without hesitation. That was how much Master Kane meant to the Jedi Order.
Within the dim lit halls of the mausoleum, Lanna sat against a secluded wall with knees brought to her chest. Ordinarily she would treat social events with enthusiasm.In this moment she simply wanted to be off on the next mission. Unfortunately, the Order had a habit of keeping her secluded within the temple after grim events in order to allow time for meditation and re-connection with the force.
What they failed to see, was a how she despised stagnation. @Prudence
The Force worked in mysterious ways, that was the adage Kira had heard so much through her life. It was oft cited by elder Jedi hoping to cushion the bruised ego or anxious disappointment of a younger padawan. Despite how simple it sounded, it was something Kira vehemently believed in—the Force did move in mysterious ways, and moreover it had a way of drawing events and people together.
The young Jedi Knight had been on Coruscant to deliver reports and resupply her ships, nothing that was meant to be an extended stay. It was while she was on-world that she'd received notice that the order had suffered a death amidst its ranks. General Kane—a well known and respected Jedi Master—had met his end. It was seldom that the Jedi held actual events for death, typically a Jedi was cremated and the Force washed past it with the Jedi in tow. Master Kane had three Padawans, however, and was a long and storied member of the order—for him, a crypt in the mausoleum had been prepared.
So it was that Kira had been subjugated to a long Jedi funeral, a somber and unpalatable event. There had been several long, soft-voiced speeches about Kane, and a retelling of his accomplishments, but these weren't the things that Kira focused on during the proceedings. Instead, Kira let the presence of all those that surrounded her wash past. The Jedi here felt strong emotions, each different than the one beside them, and some ranging in intensity.
There were Masters and Knights, such as Kira herself, who hadn't personally known Kane, and thus were more ambivalent emotionally. Then there were the brilliant emotional flames, burning bright and wide. The two most notable examples of this were Kane's two Padawans, who seemed to take turns visibly crying and were pale in the face. There was a third, feeling intense but murky emotions—but she didn't seem to be visibly feeling any of it. It wasn't hard for Kira to pick this girl—the third Padawan—out in the crowd.
The girl's emotions felt muted and choked, muddied in her own mind making it even harder for Kira to discern them, though she spent time trying. As soon as the ceremonies were over, the visibly unshaken Padawan was one of the first to exit—though Kira knew the Temple wouldn't let her leave the planet so soon. She would have to complete a certain amount of time grieving in the Temple, where they could monitor her and make sure that she didn't lose control.
She didn't go far when she left, and headed nowhere near to the residence areas, Kira noted. She could feel the girl's presence on the other side of several walls, so she stalked down the halls after her. She found the girl sitting a secluded part of the mausoleum, knees pulled up to her chest and eyes pinched shut. "Are you feeling alright?" Kira asked, as if she wasn't able to feel the girl's swirling emotions. "The death of a Master isn't something any Padawan should ever have to feel." She slid down to sit beside her. "My name is Kira Elan."
Lanna sensed the approach of an individual who set their intentions upon the girl. Based on where she sat, her pursuer must have reached out with the force to specifically seek her out. Glancing up, the padawan's eyes widened, yet she remained silent for the time being. Waves of dark hair and sharp eyes with some vexed sort of disposition surrounded the woman. Her ears felt attuned to the familiar voice addressing her with sweet questions.
Following her down the wall's length with amber eyes, she decided to finally muster the energy to speak. "Kira, it's me, Lanna Singh. We have met before on the battle field and in passing." She was a bit disappointed that her counterpart had not remembered their past encounters to the same degree as herself. Then again, Kira Elan typically left quite the impression upon those she was in contact with.
"Losing a master appears to be the natural process of things. Especially in times of war." She hesitated. "I don't want to equate my Master with a parent. But throughout most cultures, parents are supposed to pass before their children... This mentorship between old and young was always going to have a similar effect." She picked at the skin around her nails, in somber silence.
Swallowing, she turned to look at Kira with an intense look in her eye. "There is not a fiber in my body which does not oppose the idea of staying in this temple any longer than I have to. I could be much more useful to the Order on the front lines. And I know that sounds like underlying anger I need to deal with through meditation. I already meditate when I am traveling!"
She sighed. "Honestly, the death of General Kane feels small compared to others I have lost." @Prudence
Of course, Kira mentally chastised herself as soon as the girl opened her mouth. She had been around a lot of Jedi, but seldom had the presence of mind to remember names well. Her cheeks blushed for a second, but she flashed Lanna an apologetic smile, "Of course! I knew I recognized you," Kira added in damage control. She patted the other on the shoulder, but listened while she continued.
Her words were morbid, but unfortunately they were becoming increasingly true as of late. It wasn't supposed to be like that, the Jedi should be able to pass on from apprentice to knight without the death of their mentor. The Galaxy was becoming increasingly distorted though, and that reflected in how the girl saw life's progression.
Soon she shifted subjects, to something that Kira could relate to more. Unsurprisingly, Lanna was restless and wanted out of the Temple. She barreled straight onto the offensive, making arguments to back up her position that she ought to be able to leave. Kira smiled lightly while the girl presented her case, nodding along at points. Lanna reminded her of herself only several years prior, when she had been itching for the rank of Knight.
An idea began to form in Kira's mind, so she decided to probe the Padawan a little more, to gauge her interest. "I can't say I'd feel any differently," Kira agreed. "What do you see for yourself if you leave? From what I understand, General Kane wasn't quite done with your training. However, often times meditation away from the Temple can be even more healing for this. As it stands now, without someone stepping up for your training, the Council will likely have to wait to find a Knight or Master to assign you to, which could take several months. You'd have to stay on Coruscant during that time, but that's not the only option you have."